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The BBQ No Show



I decided to give it another try. I have to REALLY get my mind in the game to date, because I'm just not about it. Truth is. I love my life and do not feel I am missing out because I'm single. I make my own money. I make my own decisions. I do what I want, when I want with who I want. I can hope on a plane at the drop of a hat and go anywhere I want. And it is GREAT! But over the last week I couldn't be home until 8:00pm so I figured, why not fill my life with what will likely be at the very least more entertainment. So, swiping began!!

Actual footage of me pumping me up to go on a date. P.S -where is this guy? Why doesn't he show up in my swipes?!

There is really only one type of guy that I usually match with. I can without fail identify who I will match with prior to swiping. Most of those conversations usually begin and end with the infamous "SUP" greeting. First of all, I will not respond to you if you reach out to me in words that are less than a complete sentence and not found in the dictionary. I know, I know too picky? Maybe. But If I'm going to lose part of my freedom, I am looking for more than a casual relationship. I'm not looking for the same type of greetings I found attractive in High school (Lord help me!) Therefore many of my matches, end in me deleting them. 

I was matched with a guy who was very attractive, well dressed, had a good job, no kids and consistently used proper grammar when reaching out to me. It was a miracle. This guy is actually asking questions about me?! Engaging. Responsive. Unheard of in the world of swipes.


We finally moved past the app stage and he sent me his number explaining he would love to meet me as I was very intriguing. I'm pretty sure I now understand what his intrigue was inspired by and it doesn't sit between my ears. 



Here goes the timeline

Wendsday May 16 

8:00pm: (Trisha) Hi! It's Trisha. How are you?
8:00pm : (Online Guy) Awesome! 

Crickets.

Thursday May 17

9:00am: (Trisha) I'm heading away for the weekend but I am free next week. Let me know when you'd like to grab a drink?

12:27am (Online guy) TRISHA! 

Yes, that was his response at 12:30am in the morning on a work night. I was long gone into dreamland and he can thank his lucky stars it didn't wake me. I woke up to this on Friday morning. Slightly annoyed that he wouldn't just pick a date and time or ask where I want to meet...during the DAY. And I'm not ignorant to what 12am texts potentially mean. So I didn't respond and figured if he wanted to meet up, he could text me later and reply to my earlier text of when he was free. 

Friday May 18: 

4:18pm (Online guy) Hey Trisha, so what are you up to this weekend?

Are you freaking serious?! I just told you in a previous text. It was at this point I realized this guy was likely juggling his matches and wasn't paying attention. But I know some guys in my life (cough cough brothers) who sometimes juggle to many swipes so I try not to judge.

5:30pm (Trisha) Reminded him I was going out of town and that I was free the next week. 

Monday May 21st 

6:30pm: (Online Guy) WEDNESDAY 7PM AT XXXX See you there. 

7:00pm: (Trisha) Sounds great. See you then!

No hello, no Hi, just a plan. Now, I appreciate the fact that he took initiative. HOWEVER, he did not ask me where I lived or work and the location happens to be right across from where HE works. But I tried to stay positive. I also happen to work in that same building so the location worked great for me, but he didn't know that! 

Wednesday rolls around. I wear my pretty new sundress, blow my hair out, spend more than 3 minutes on my makeup because you should look nice when meeting someone. I was feeling good and actually looking forward to it! I even came to work late so I would just work up until the 7pm then walk across the street. 

Ready for my date!

I do not hear from him all day. I assumed he was busy but that voice in my head kept saying confirm. I've learned not to ignore that voice!

At 3:30pm I decide to text him. He responds an hour later saying. "Where do you live?" I felt was a little late for that question. I responded with North Seattle but I work downtown. His response: "OH, I took today off so I am in Bellevue, lol" I wasn't sure what we are LOL'ing but one thing for sure is I wasn't. He then asks if I use public transportation. 

Actual footage of me reading that text.

I KNOW where this is going. He's about to ask me to drive to Bellevue and that already gets my eyebrow raising with that look in my eye. I respond, "I drive but I came into work late because I was expecting to meet you at XXXX at 7". 

Silence.
Crickets
Nada
Nothing. 

Then at 6:00pm. ONE hour before I was supposed to meet him for drinks he says, "I'm having a BBQ and drinks with my friends at my house in Bellevue, want to come through?


Hell freaking no I do not want to "come through" 

First of all I know what "come through" means. Nice try buddy but the only thing happening behind this skirt is the chub rub I got from wearing a dress to meet you in this 80 degree weather. Any girl with any meat on her thighs knows exactly what I'm talking about. Don't judge me. 

Actual Footage of the chub rub walk...where my thick thigh girls at?!

Second - My profile clearly states I am not looking for hookups and that I am looking for a mature relationship. Meeting at your house with friends clearly shows you have no intent of getting to know me but looking to hang. I'd still rather hang with myself in my bathrobe binging and eating pizza by myself thank you. 

Third- If he would have just texted me earlier and said his plans changed and that he needed to reschedule it would have been no problem! But he clearly didn't even care as he never even apologized. Had I not texted him I likely would have been sitting at XXXX alone and feeling like an idiot! 


At the end of the day, I would rather see someones true colors up front and center from the get go. I enjoy my life too much to become invested in someone who doesn't care about others time or respect it for that matter. The day of I told my girlfriend I would swear off dating and that it just wasn't worth my energy. But I do truly believe there are good men out there. They just make themselves really hard to find. At the end of the day, each time one of these situations goes downhill it just reminds me of the standards I've built and that it's ok not settle. Being single isn't a bad thing. In fact I believe it is one of the best things that ever happened to me. But, it looks like we may be seeing more of these posts in the future. Until the next swipe! But I've had my fill for the first 6 months of the year. :) 

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