Skip to main content

31 FLAVORS

After a long conversation with dad, he gave me the wise words. "Well Trish....You've dated every other flavor in the world....I think its about time you try VANILLA." Now if you know me, you know what this means! So as any well behaved daughter who takes everything her parents say seriously (wink wink) I said "You know what, he's right!...It is time I give vanilla a try"

So off started my quest in search of the perfect vanilla date. I found him...so I thought...looked nice, well traveled, huge smile and had pictures with other people which made me believe he was not some psycho who only wanted to meet me to chop me up in a million pieces. And there is was planned....dinner for two at Barillo in Bellevue.

EEk! What to wear...I hadn't been on a date in FOREVER...let a lone a vanilla one (ever)...what do you wear for that flavor? After staring at my closet for a good two minutes I decided it was probably the same as any flavor..and put something together. Just enough to look like I put in effort, little enough to hide the goods.

I met him after work...DATE TIME: 5:45.....DATE ARRIVES: 6:04. Ok...traffic can be annoying, but so can sitting in a lobby during happy hour...well actually standing as the fancy waiting area did not have chairs. My feet are hurting but I was starting to feel like an idiot looking like a lost child waiting for their parent to show up. It was then it happened. My waiter walked by and I asked him if I was at the right place and there began my night of dreaming of the waiter. (Shook my head to snap out of it!) I need to focus! Focus on the vanilla! And then he arrived. Very nice, not bad looking at all. Although he kissed me on the cheek...He wasn't Italian or Portuguese so I want to know where THAT came from...moving along.

As he reaches the bottom of the stairs. I discover something veryyyy interesting. I quickly did the math in my head. I am 5'6, and I have 3.5 inch heels on. THAT makes me 5.9 AND a half. Something is incredibly wrong? Either he shrunk or he LIED about his height! He claimed to be 6 feet. Had I teased my hair just a little more I would have been taller than him,. Oh well, I suppose I can forgive him. Better for me, bring on the flats.

So we grab our table, a very cozy table at that, not just with each other but everyone else in the restaurant. I thought perhaps it was group dining? Our waiter introduces himself and holds the name of my ex..lovely.  So the conversation began. It was enjoyable and pleasant except for the third visitor at our table. His indigestion. For the first 20 minutes. He burped (quietly thank you) but indeed burped every few seconds. Once Mr. Indigestion calmed down, I did enjoy the conversation. It was then interrupted when a very beautiful blonde decided to walk by our table. Given her level of attraction I would expect any person to look her way. Look once, no worries, look back again I might raise an eyebrow...look a third time I might throw my water on you. (In my head of course) All of which happened, except the water throwing. This was followed by texting under the table. As if I thought you were just staring at your crotch?

One point of the night the conversation turned to ice cream...very funny inside my head considering the description of this date. 

I would say the best part of the whole date was the amazing food I had and I didn't even have to pay. I do admit I did feel slightly guilty but at the end of the day...I have paid for enough meals for men in my life...It's my turn!

Towards the end of the night we wrapped things up and headed out. It was not awkward but he spent more time outside in the cold buttoning up his jacket. He did not offer to walk me to my car and did not see if I made it home. (Even though I had consumed alcohol...helllloooo where's the gentleman!?)

I received a text the following day saying "I can't wait to see you again"....Unfortunately my fingers could not respond as I think I may have had an allergic reaction to Vanilla Ice cream that causes inability to respond to this date. Really!

So one down, but that's ok! It's just the beginning. :)...

Comments

  1. I loved it, hilar. I havent been on a date myself for awhile and hence, there is why. somuch work! KimV

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Reader Favorites

The BBQ No Show

I decided to give it another try. I have to REALLY get my mind in the game to date, because I'm just not about it. Truth is. I love my life and do not feel I am missing out because I'm single. I make my own money. I make my own decisions. I do what I want, when I want with who I want. I can hope on a plane at the drop of a hat and go anywhere I want. And it is GREAT! But over the last week I couldn't be home until 8:00pm so I figured, why not fill my life with what will likely be at the very least more entertainment. So, swiping began!! Actual footage of me pumping me up to go on a date. P.S -where is this guy? Why doesn't he show up in my swipes?! There is really only one type of guy that I usually match with. I can without fail identify who I will match with prior to swiping. Most of those conversations usually begin and end with the infamous "SUP" greeting. First of all, I will not respond to you if you reach out to me in words that are less ...

Return To the Battlefield

Dating....Sigh  We have been here before. And here we are again. Now a days, it is almost impossible to meet someone in "real life". Gone are the days of asking one out in the grocery store, in passing or God forbid you see an attractive person while out and you approach them. That very person could be sitting next to you in a restaurant, not say a word and then immediately swipe right on their app to your very self once home. ***For newbies or those out of the game: On apps, you swipe right if you like, swipe left to send them to the pit of rejection*** Swiping. It's become quite the topic of conversation in our household. Mom and Dad's number one question is "Had any new swipes lately?!" Now, that in itself is hilarious sounding coming out of your parents mouth, but when they actually truly mean it, it makes it even more funny. We have taught them the in's and out's of tinder, Match and Bumble. So...

Slot Machines

Slot machines.    I've figured it out. I LOVE playing the slot machines. Take me to Vegas and I am a kid in a candy store. So many emotions! So many possible outcomes! Sometimes you walk away so happy because you came out even. Sometimes you hate yourself for spending way more than you promised before walking in. Other times, the game turns out to be nothing like you expected and you immediately remove your ticket after one play and quickly find a new machine. Other times, you've been sitting there for hours wondering what you've done with your life and how you became to be so interested in pressing the same button, over and over...and over......and overrrrrr. BUT! It's all worth it if you win right?! Alas....enter dating. Online dating is just like the slot machines. You never know what you'll encounter. I have not been on another date since the last entry. Pretty much, I love being with friends, family, doing things on my ...

Liar Liar Pants on Fire.

We all know I am a humble girl. Sure, I think I am an attractive lady or at least men don't run in the other direction when they see me, so I think by logic that makes me attractive. I have dated men of all kinds. Short, tall, round, buff, dead sexy, average. I do not discriminate. ( BUT, in the end I do appreciate a good looking man!  THIS BEING said.....I had my first beer goggle experience....or I would say ONLINE-GOGGLE experience. Just don't lie about your looks...but please don't shock me. But most importantly be truthful in who you are. If you have to hide it. I am curious why you don't love yourself for you. Deep insecurities are lurking! For my third date I met up with a man who was a project manager for Microsoft, seemed to be attractive in his photos. Tall, fit, dressed well etc....................we will return to this. Joey's at Southcenter. Perfect...if I need a rescuer...dad is right up the street! We spoke on the phone and the conversat...

DOES SOMETHING STINK? OH THATS JUST PEPE LE PEW

DATE 4: SO CLOSE BUT SO FAR I received a request to communicate from an attractive man. A very attractive man at that. All the girls from ZUMBA were smitten at his cuteness muscles and seemingly qualifying credentials. An officer in the Navy, traveled all over the world, worked at Boeing, owns his own house, has a BMW and big muscles. Did I already say that? haha. From the first e-mail he proclaimed his thoughts on how beautiful I was...very flattering and hey a girl could get used to this. I finally responded to him and we decided to meet up. There were a few things that made me raise an eyebrow such as he thought we could meet at a mall and then go together to find a place to eat. Ummm how about we just meet at a restaurant...I don't know you Mr. Miltary man. So we decide...taphouse in Bellevue. I arrive after work and to my surprise he was really outgoing, attractive and we seemed to hit it off well...a connection I wasn't so sure.....but I was having a good time. ...

Calamari Confusion

Communication is key. Listening to communication is even more key! They say if you fall off a horse to get back on. (Probably a bad pun to use for a dating blog, but...moving along) I got back on the horse! I set up another date. This one looked promising. Seemed to be attractive, had a good job. Seemed to find me very attractive. Perfect. Let us meet. So the day rolls around and I ask the date if we are still on. He responds by saying I will text you in a little bit and we will confirm. I never heard back so I figured I would ask once more. He said he didn't think I was going to have time. (Don't know where he got that from) But that he would love to meet me. LOCATION: Joey's on Lake Union TIME OF DATE: 8:30PM TIME DATE SHOWS UP: 9:10...Ok, in this case obviously no traffic but we did make last minute plans AND he kept updating me about his lateness. Whatever. I made friends with the hostesses in the mean time. Date finally arrives and I was quite surprised ...